1/19/14: Thankful for Each Day

1/19/13 Thankful for each day:

I've had a few good days in a row! Hooray! Now don't get me wrong, these good days still included mild pain and off and on nausea but I'm getting better at knowing when and what to take in my, now very large ,medicine cabinet which definitely helps. But today I was able to go to church, visit with a friend (who was gracious enough to drive all the way across town) and I even attended the end of youth group! It was nice to have a somewhat normal day and just not to feel super crappy.

Every day is a new day and I never know what the day will bring. I may have a new place of pain, feel exhausted at basic daily tasks or feel nausiated at the thought of any food. But it also forces me to be more thankful for the little things! Thankful for the times I know I'm bonding with my child and getting time with him that I would not have had other wise. Thankful for days where I accomplish a shower and a few household chores. Thankful for when I just feel filled with joy instead of overwhelmed and discouraged. The things I always used to take for granted. A new perspective on life that I am very thankful for.

Again don't get me wrong, I am not this all the time, positive, 27 year old, new mother living with cancer! I have plenty of bad days where I just need a good cry because cancer sucks! It sucks being stuck in this "sick role" all the time. It sucks being a sick wife and a sick mom. It sucks watching my wonderful husband constantly do extra stuff around the house to pick up my slack while still working full time, being a husband and a new dad. It sucks not being able to do the things that were so easy and that I once enjoyed. But I feel this disease is forcing me to think more, be more creative and find new occupations that are meaningful and purposeful yet doable (which probably isn't a bad thing). I don't have a long list of those yet but I'm positive it will continue to grow over the months.

So I am definitely learning to be thankful for the small things and rejoice in the good days because there sure are plenty of bad days in between. It's a one day at a time ordeal that I'm learning to cope with.